Monday, November 12, 2007
Living in a nightmare
The day quickly turns into night. In the dead silence, surrounded by darkness, it is so easy to pick up even the slightest sound. The clicking of a door. The ventilation operating. The cold breeze. Quivering coldness. A slow beating heart.
She's back in her usual position. Fingers numb, toes stiff. And the clockwork of her brain is getting squeaky. She stares into the light reflected from her Aspire. Letting time slip away. Idle in baseless thought. Never getting wiser.
It strikes her again and again. History will keep repeating itself. There is no end to this. What is the meaning of this?
She sees things she shouldn't see. She sees them in her mind. They just keep haunting her. They don't want to set her free. What is she guilty for that she has to be tortured this way?
She's in agony. Traumatised by indecision.
She's guilty for wanting something she can never have. This sinful desire of curiosity. It's in her blood. She can't escape it. She has lost control. She wishes for a contrary. Something that would kill her.
In fear of the face of death. Frightened of dying, therefore frightened of living.
Living in a nightmare, walking through hell.
May a part of her resurface for another chance at life.
I sense an angel's watching over me.
*edits*
STOP TELLING YOURSELF YOU ARE FINE WHEN YOU KNOW YOU ARE NOT! YOU ARE GOING CRAZY! PLEASE CONSULT A PSYCHOLOGIST AT ONCE!!!!!!!!
She's back in her usual position. Fingers numb, toes stiff. And the clockwork of her brain is getting squeaky. She stares into the light reflected from her Aspire. Letting time slip away. Idle in baseless thought. Never getting wiser.
It strikes her again and again. History will keep repeating itself. There is no end to this. What is the meaning of this?
She sees things she shouldn't see. She sees them in her mind. They just keep haunting her. They don't want to set her free. What is she guilty for that she has to be tortured this way?
She's in agony. Traumatised by indecision.
She's guilty for wanting something she can never have. This sinful desire of curiosity. It's in her blood. She can't escape it. She has lost control. She wishes for a contrary. Something that would kill her.
In fear of the face of death. Frightened of dying, therefore frightened of living.
Living in a nightmare, walking through hell.
May a part of her resurface for another chance at life.
I sense an angel's watching over me.
*edits*
STOP TELLING YOURSELF YOU ARE FINE WHEN YOU KNOW YOU ARE NOT! YOU ARE GOING CRAZY! PLEASE CONSULT A PSYCHOLOGIST AT ONCE!!!!!!!!
