I wish I could just take a part of my memory away and remember what happened during the seminar today.

I attended my first Jurisprudence seminar. I never expected him to be there, as much as I hope he would but my expectations were nearly minimum. I walked into the seminar room and took my seat.

Within a few seconds, I saw him face-to-face... walking in through the door. He took a seat on a different table. We introduced ourselves a bit and that was how I got to know his name.

"Hi, I'm Paul."

"I'm Shu."

I stopped because my tongue was tied. The lecturer came in and passed the attendance sheet around. I caught his last name. And I am so, very happy. I wrote it down in pen, so afraid I might forget the spelling.

His accent sounded quite Geordie-like. For the rest of the session I was dumbfounded; words couldn't come out of my mouth. My heart was beating so fast that I was fighting to stay calm. I was so shy to look at him, so afraid he might notice me as a freak.

When the seminar finally ended, I took a last glance of him leaving the room. Right. Now I know his name. Maybe it was fated this way.

I was gleaming like a baby girl holding on to her first plushie that mummy bought. Overcome with joy, I entered into a transition-state of dream and remained smiling for the rest of the day. At that moment I was indeed the happiest girl in the world.

By the time I reached home, the first thing I did was to login to the internet. I went to Facebook. The most stupid mistake I could have made. Curiosity stabbed my heart a million times. Who couldn't have guessed such a fine looking gentleman would have already been in a relationship?

Stupid shu.

Please, God.. erase this fact off my mind. Don't take my smile away.

Shu will never smile again.

Labels: paul